Tuesday, 17 February 2009

EARLY DAYS

Seemingly, they say, in the "human world", that moving home is the most, significant, yet most stressfull thing you can do in a lifetime. Ah the feeble, faint and fragile world of humanity. Your having a laugh. Liberated from an existence, restrained on a chain in a farmyard and sleeping in a hutch modest enough for a large rabbitt, to this, PICKFORD TOWERS !! Oh behold, look, these people are going to great lengths to make the garden pip proof. New lawn, new fencing, new wall.......NEW CHALLENGE
What's this trickery i see before me. Those devious, deceptive and downright develish chappell's at Netherend have brought the bovine to taunt me, what treachery.Beyond the traechery, however, the view. Valley left, valley right, with the mist hanging over the valley walls like a thin veil thickening into a blanket to mask the horizon in the distance, many an enjoyable walk to be had.


But back to business, new lawn means new business. Now just where shall i do my business !






Every young apprentice needs a mentorial maestro to lead him in the ways. For this particular duty let me introduce you to foxy. So called because apparently she looks like a fox, astounding stupidity, these people are going to be so easy to manipulate, my job will be easy, simple and smooth with the help of foxy who may be aged but is a master in the art of "DOGGERY".



Foxy's first lesson "Be attentive, listen and learn from the maestro". Not so sure about that, give me six months and i'll be barking out the orders.






Lesson number two "when you want to do the business it's outside".







"I said outside". Bugger that i'm gonna make a mess right over here.







"I told pip to go outside, but she did the business on the kitchen floor". That Foxy... bossy old cow. I thought i'd left the cows back at Netherend.









New environment always means new smells, whoa, whoa Foxy have you farted.








From the odour of the maestros rear, to the fragrance of a childs smelly feet. I wonder if the odd chew or occasional nibble of toes is allowed, considering furniture is out of bounds.










Two bowls, no food. I'm calling the R.S.P.C.A.. Now where's the dog and bone.












Ah food at last, starvation abated, I think this new way of life, will work wonderfully.










And do you know what i think i kinda like this guy too. GIVE US A KISS !!







































































































Wednesday, 4 February 2009

INTRODUCTION




Hi ! My name is Pip and, as you can see, i'm a border collie.



Born July 15th 2006 at Netherend Farm, Denby Dale.



Originally destined to a hard working life of living outside in the cold, chasing allsorts of farming livestock, being chained up in a farm yard, biting the legs of cold callers, gypo's, dodgy salesmen and best of all that bloody postman !

Anyway moving on to about 7 weeks old, i was rescued from my life of slavery in chains by this dozy looking bugger.




Oh the irony :- it only turns out he's the bloody local postie !!!